Learning to Put off Pettiness

I have learned over the past few years that there are some things in life which take so much energy that to continue them is not helpful for my health or my spirit.  One of those things is pettiness.  So many things in life are really petty.  When you allow pettiness to control you, it drains you and those around you.  As one blogger LoveBabz states, acting in a petty way is manipulation in disguise.

The Free Dictionary says petty is  "Marked by meanness or lack of generosity, especially in trifling matters."  I have experienced pettiness in people whom I considered to be close to me, and unfortunately, the worst of these situations resulted in an end of communicating with the people.  I still love these people, but when it hurts to communicate with someone after repeated attempts, you begin to realize that it is best that you each go your separate ways so that you can each experience a fuller life.

Though I may not be able to comprehend someone's utter irrationality, trying to convince a person that their ways are petty is usually a futile attempt.  The only person you can change is yourself, so you can only do your best and keep moving forward.

As Walt Disney states, "Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." Even though Disney may have been referring to inventions, the quote can be applied to life in general.

Sometimes I must remind myself to make a conscience effort to escape manipulation of petty actions and talk.  Pettiness keeps you from moving forward, because being petty usually causes you to look back... back at someone's mistakes, someone's failures, someone's incompetence.  And since we can't change the pettiness in others, the best change we can make is to get rid of our own petty actions, and avoid the pettiness of those who inflict it upon us.

Frugal Friday - Hair Color

When we moved to Louisiana, not only did I lose my favorite hair styler (who had been styling my hair for over 20 years), I lost a few brain cells also. Apparently, I forgot the "If it ain't broke" saying, and decided that I needed to do something different with my hair.
First, let me say that I have covered my gray colored my hair for many years. I'm not too proud to admit it.  Nope, I don't have any plastic anything in my body, have never tried botox, but when it comes to color, I count that as makeup for my hair.

When we lived in Tennessee, I used to purchase some semi-permanent color from my hair dresser, and take it home and do it myself (much easier than asking the kids to be still in the salon).  I soon discovered Natural Instincts at the drugstore.  I asked my stylist about it, and she assured me that it should not turn my hair bright orange, green, or some other undesired color (not bashing those of you who do it). Rainbow colors are cute on some people, but I'm not one of those people.  So, I bought the drugstore box, took it home, and tried it out, knowing that if some disaster occurred, I could always make a trip to the salon to try and fix my flub as much as possible.

It worked great, and I started a routine.  I would even find deals where I could get the boxes for 50% off. I'd buy 4 boxes at a time, and I still would visit my hairdresser for a nice cut when I could (we moved to another town, but I would travel to see my trusted stylist).

Soon after we moved to Louisiana, I grew tired of the color ritual every 8-12 weeks.  I decided I needed to do something different.  I started (by the advice of someone close to me, who shall remain nameless), to buy permanent hair color.  Now for those of you who don't know what the difference is between permanent and semi-permanent, let me explain.  Permanent means will fry your hair.  Just like a permanent which can curl or straighten your hair, permanent hair color has some smelly stuff in it when you start dousing the stuff on your hair. It has ammonia in it, which not only makes your hair stink to high heaven and think you've gone on a field trip to a chemical plant, but also does a tremendous job of drying out your hair.  Goodbye soft smooth hair; hello, breaking hair and flyaways.

So, I met a sweet girl here in Louisiana who works in a high-end salon several months ago. I was frustrated with the condition of my hair, and I needed a haircut badly. I thought about trying something different, like adding some highlights.  Well, she had some lovely suggestions, and I scheduled an appointment for a cut.  I was pleased enough with the cut (took some getting used to, and I am still not a fan of using the razor cut scissors on my hair) for me to schedule an appointment for a color.

When I went in for the appointment, it ended up being a 4-hour appointment with lots of layers of color and highlights.  It was a bit of a pampering session, and luckily, my 2-year-old, who was along for the ride, slept through part of it.  However, my kids, as a whole, were not happy at all staying at the salon for 4 hours.  I was pleased with the immediate results of the color, though, and my hair looked as natural as it had in high school.  I was a little taken aback (ok, shocked), when I got ready to pay, and the price was $170.  That blew my entire personal hair budget for over a year.  I could have bought a year's worth of color and gotten several cuts from my former hairdresser for that same price. 

Now, there are some ladies that need the salon lifestyle, thrive on it, and see it as a refuge for pampering, socializing, and great products. I know the gal who colored my hair did so with love, good intentions, and a true belief and love for what she does, and the products she uses.  That just can't be me with my family and my budget.  We have too many mouths to feed, and I began to think of how many groceries I could have bought with that same amount of money.

After investing that much money in one trip to the salon, I was very careful to use shampoos only for colored hair, and faithfully use conditioning and strengthening treatments to help keep my hair moisturized and prevent breaking.  However, I'm now convinced you can't put that many chemicals on your hair for that amount of time without suffering some damage.  (I've always begged my mother to let her hair grow out and not go every 2 months for a color, cut, and perm.  Her hair style has changed very little in 25 years, and I think it's thinning because of the abuse it has suffered.)  I thought my at-home pampering would help my hair, but it continued to break, and I was losing more strands in the shower than normal.

Finally, after 3 months, my hair had begun to grow out, and I needed to color again.  I was not willing to spend another $150+ on color, and so I went back to what works for me.  I bought my trusted Natural Instincts for $8 (no coupon or specials), took it home, and followed the directions.  My hair is softer than it has been in a long time and isn't coming out of my scalp as much.  My hair feels like it's returning to it's normal state again. 

Lesson learned, hair.  No need to fall off in gobs in the tub anymore. 

Change is not always bad, but not when you realize you have made things worse, it's time to go back to what works.  I need to put a big flashing sign up on my desk....

Fabulous Fall

The NOLA area has been beautiful this week, and I have enjoyed opening my windows since we got home from vacation.  Since the house was closed up for almost 10 days, it really needed airing out.  Even though the lizards and geckos are not as visible, I am enjoying the cooler weather.

Fall in New Orleans also generally means an end to hurricane season. Ok, I know there are 6 more weeks, but the chances are really going down.  I have watched the National Hurricane Center website almost obsessively since June 1.  When I say obsessed, I mean that I have a bookmark saved on my laptop browser and my PDA, I'm friends with my favorite weatherman on Facebook, and I have been known to check the site as it is updated 4 times a day (at 1 a.m., 7 a.m., 1 p.m., and 8 p.m. Central Time). Yes, if I happened to wake up in the middle of the night, I've checked then, too. I am thankful to be gaining that part of my sanity back a whopping half of a year.

According to all the weathermen here, New Orleans is having an unseasonably cool start to fall.  Last winter was one of the coldest on record.  But on the flipside, this summer in Louisiana was miserably hot (I don’t think there are many summers here that aren’t).  Our A/C unit failing during one of the hottest weeks this summer made it even more sweltering.

Fall makes me very nostalgic, thinking of times spent back home in Tennessee.  I miss seeing the colors of the changing leaves on the maples, Bradford pears, and other deciduous trees.  Louisiana doesn’t have enough changing leaves for my taste.  

Fall in Tennessee is also a time when my seasonal allergies calm down. It’s dry, crisp, and cool in the mornings, and just warm enough not to freeze during the day.  I miss the crunching sound of the dried leaves under my feet. Sitting by the fireplace with the smell of spiced cider and seasoned wood burning where you can roast marshmallows for s’mores is a great way to spend an evening,

When people in Louisiana think of Tennessee, they often think of fall and the glorious colors in the Smoky Mountains.  The paint-splattered trees set on a rolling hillside is a stark contrast to the flat wetlands of Louisiana. East Tennessee is one of my favorite places to witness God’s creation, and fall reminds me that spring will begin life anew. 

What are your favorite memories and traditions of fall?

Inbox Decluttering Update: Day 3

I have now reached my goal in less than 3 days of having less than 1000 total messages in my Gmail account. 

Those 874 emails take up a tiny fraction of my total space.


It is really nice to finally have that excessive data (I guess that is the appropriate word) out of the way.  Now, I take a couple of extra minutes to unsubscribe from any email I may have before signed up for, and I am hoping that eventually I won’t have to delete so many emails automatically.  I have also signed up with NutshellMail as recommended by Lifehacker.  It combines all your Twitter and Facebook feeds, replies, etc. into one neat email.  It makes it easier than getting everyone else's replies to someone's picture, comment, etc. on Facebook in separate emails for days on end. You can even choose how many times a day you want to get updates, and what types of updates you want to receive.

My next goal is to work on my local/hard drive program’s inbox.  It has a meager (*ahem) amount.


Now, the problem is that when I try to use my standalone email application, my computer’s memory is eaten up. I think it will improve as I eliminate some emails.  2000 emails are a lot for the hard drive to handle at once.  I don’t dread it, though. I think I can get it done pretty quickly.

Too bad I didn't know about this nifty little tool/game called 0Boxer before I went on my inbox declutter trek. I would have smoked some people's stats out there with the number of emails eliminated in a short time frame.  I don't need a game, but the program is a great motivator for those who dread the task.

Eventually I'll move to my external hard drive, which is now cluttered with things that aren't on my laptop. THAT will be a task, but as I am learning to let go of more and more physical items, I guess I am moving to becoming a digital hoarder.

Wordless Wednesday

The King of England and one of his subjects
We call the boy King of England because he is so demanding.  Now that he has a crown, he really lets it go to his head.