Learning to Put off Pettiness

I have learned over the past few years that there are some things in life which take so much energy that to continue them is not helpful for my health or my spirit.  One of those things is pettiness.  So many things in life are really petty.  When you allow pettiness to control you, it drains you and those around you.  As one blogger LoveBabz states, acting in a petty way is manipulation in disguise.

The Free Dictionary says petty is  "Marked by meanness or lack of generosity, especially in trifling matters."  I have experienced pettiness in people whom I considered to be close to me, and unfortunately, the worst of these situations resulted in an end of communicating with the people.  I still love these people, but when it hurts to communicate with someone after repeated attempts, you begin to realize that it is best that you each go your separate ways so that you can each experience a fuller life.

Though I may not be able to comprehend someone's utter irrationality, trying to convince a person that their ways are petty is usually a futile attempt.  The only person you can change is yourself, so you can only do your best and keep moving forward.

As Walt Disney states, "Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." Even though Disney may have been referring to inventions, the quote can be applied to life in general.

Sometimes I must remind myself to make a conscience effort to escape manipulation of petty actions and talk.  Pettiness keeps you from moving forward, because being petty usually causes you to look back... back at someone's mistakes, someone's failures, someone's incompetence.  And since we can't change the pettiness in others, the best change we can make is to get rid of our own petty actions, and avoid the pettiness of those who inflict it upon us.

Frugal Friday - Hair Color

When we moved to Louisiana, not only did I lose my favorite hair styler (who had been styling my hair for over 20 years), I lost a few brain cells also. Apparently, I forgot the "If it ain't broke" saying, and decided that I needed to do something different with my hair.
First, let me say that I have covered my gray colored my hair for many years. I'm not too proud to admit it.  Nope, I don't have any plastic anything in my body, have never tried botox, but when it comes to color, I count that as makeup for my hair.

When we lived in Tennessee, I used to purchase some semi-permanent color from my hair dresser, and take it home and do it myself (much easier than asking the kids to be still in the salon).  I soon discovered Natural Instincts at the drugstore.  I asked my stylist about it, and she assured me that it should not turn my hair bright orange, green, or some other undesired color (not bashing those of you who do it). Rainbow colors are cute on some people, but I'm not one of those people.  So, I bought the drugstore box, took it home, and tried it out, knowing that if some disaster occurred, I could always make a trip to the salon to try and fix my flub as much as possible.

It worked great, and I started a routine.  I would even find deals where I could get the boxes for 50% off. I'd buy 4 boxes at a time, and I still would visit my hairdresser for a nice cut when I could (we moved to another town, but I would travel to see my trusted stylist).

Soon after we moved to Louisiana, I grew tired of the color ritual every 8-12 weeks.  I decided I needed to do something different.  I started (by the advice of someone close to me, who shall remain nameless), to buy permanent hair color.  Now for those of you who don't know what the difference is between permanent and semi-permanent, let me explain.  Permanent means will fry your hair.  Just like a permanent which can curl or straighten your hair, permanent hair color has some smelly stuff in it when you start dousing the stuff on your hair. It has ammonia in it, which not only makes your hair stink to high heaven and think you've gone on a field trip to a chemical plant, but also does a tremendous job of drying out your hair.  Goodbye soft smooth hair; hello, breaking hair and flyaways.

So, I met a sweet girl here in Louisiana who works in a high-end salon several months ago. I was frustrated with the condition of my hair, and I needed a haircut badly. I thought about trying something different, like adding some highlights.  Well, she had some lovely suggestions, and I scheduled an appointment for a cut.  I was pleased enough with the cut (took some getting used to, and I am still not a fan of using the razor cut scissors on my hair) for me to schedule an appointment for a color.

When I went in for the appointment, it ended up being a 4-hour appointment with lots of layers of color and highlights.  It was a bit of a pampering session, and luckily, my 2-year-old, who was along for the ride, slept through part of it.  However, my kids, as a whole, were not happy at all staying at the salon for 4 hours.  I was pleased with the immediate results of the color, though, and my hair looked as natural as it had in high school.  I was a little taken aback (ok, shocked), when I got ready to pay, and the price was $170.  That blew my entire personal hair budget for over a year.  I could have bought a year's worth of color and gotten several cuts from my former hairdresser for that same price. 

Now, there are some ladies that need the salon lifestyle, thrive on it, and see it as a refuge for pampering, socializing, and great products. I know the gal who colored my hair did so with love, good intentions, and a true belief and love for what she does, and the products she uses.  That just can't be me with my family and my budget.  We have too many mouths to feed, and I began to think of how many groceries I could have bought with that same amount of money.

After investing that much money in one trip to the salon, I was very careful to use shampoos only for colored hair, and faithfully use conditioning and strengthening treatments to help keep my hair moisturized and prevent breaking.  However, I'm now convinced you can't put that many chemicals on your hair for that amount of time without suffering some damage.  (I've always begged my mother to let her hair grow out and not go every 2 months for a color, cut, and perm.  Her hair style has changed very little in 25 years, and I think it's thinning because of the abuse it has suffered.)  I thought my at-home pampering would help my hair, but it continued to break, and I was losing more strands in the shower than normal.

Finally, after 3 months, my hair had begun to grow out, and I needed to color again.  I was not willing to spend another $150+ on color, and so I went back to what works for me.  I bought my trusted Natural Instincts for $8 (no coupon or specials), took it home, and followed the directions.  My hair is softer than it has been in a long time and isn't coming out of my scalp as much.  My hair feels like it's returning to it's normal state again. 

Lesson learned, hair.  No need to fall off in gobs in the tub anymore. 

Change is not always bad, but not when you realize you have made things worse, it's time to go back to what works.  I need to put a big flashing sign up on my desk....

Ch-ch-ch-CHANGES!!

What a difference just a few weeks can make! It's not only the look of my blog that has changed. Our summer is in full swing, and though we didn't have concrete plans, a job offer has landed us in a whirlwind of newness. Not only will my husband be starting a new job with huge potential, but we will be moving to the New Orleans area very soon. Luckily, we know a few people in the area, so we won't be totally lost. We are looking forward to the amazing food we have heard about, along with the rich history of the area.

My children have had a season of firsts.

The boy celebrated his first birthday in May (his birthday party was outside in a monsoon, luckily we had the shelter of the pavillion).


My oldest is jumping off the diving board of the neighbor's pool and swimming the length of the pool (a huge feat).


My youngest daughter is swimming across the width of the pool (not bad for a kid with no formal swimming lessons). I was truly amazed.


The oldest went on her first overnight camp with our church without her mom or dad to watch her every move.

Ok, so when did my kids get this big? Madelynne's stay under our roof is half over, and we still have so much to teach her!

Soon I will be setting an academic example for our kids, as I am planning on starting graduate school soon.

As I posted before, I will get pictures of the workboxes up very soon, before they become packed and shipped to NOLA! The next two weeks will be very exciting and stressful for us as we look for a safe and affordable place to live.

I Need Proclaim My Appreciation

In spite of my unfortunate sneezing today (just what is blooming right now besides mums?), I have found some things for which I am especially happy on this eve.  I'll start with the easy ones, but will conclude with some odd ones.

First, the "givens."
1.  The Lord and His grace
2.  The health and love of our family
3.  The fortune that God has given our family a way to pay the bills we have, and has provided our basic needs.
4.  Friends who make me smile

And now, for the non-traditional ones.
5.  Caffeinated drinks - cokes, coffee, and good Southern sweet tea (they help me keep some "me" time when the kids are all in bed)
6.  Flea drops for my pets (provides physical relief for the dog, and comic relief for us from the cat)
7.  The new sound-maker that my aunt gave Lucas (it's addictive and peaceful all at the same time)
8.  Rectal thermometers (any parent who's had a constipated baby can appreciate this)
9.  Gold Bond medicated powder (it's kept me from taking Oscar to the vet for a $70+ shot)
10.  Cheaper gas
11.  Cooler temperatures on the way

I know there are many, many more ways I can count my blessings.  It's helpful to remind myself that in spite of our troubles, God tends to show us silver linings.

North Carolina-bound

Here I thought nothing would shock me as much as my pregnancy with baby #3, but I guess I've been proven wrong.

After 3 years of hard work, struggle, and a great education from the University of EXPERIENCE, my dear hubby has decided to close the doors to his business and take employment with an established company. For our family, that means a move to the area of Raleigh, North Carolina. It's a blessing in many ways, because hubby will be making more than he has ever made, but we'll lose the convenience of having extended family close by.

I am nervous and excited. Raleigh seems to be a great place to raise a family, However, the logistics and timing of it all is strange to me. We have about 4 months to get there, but all the things to do seem a bit overwhelming to me right now. Getting the house ready, packed, and all that must be done before we move is so much with a newborn (and he'll just be 5 months old when we move).

Not only that, hubby will be starting his position on June 30. Leaving me here to do what I can to get the house ready. Ugh... too much to do, too little time... but finally, no worries with paperwork for the business after next year I anticipate.

Introducing our newest Bell family member

Lucas Nathaniel Bell was born Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 3:25 p.m. He weighed 6 lbs., 10 oz. and was 19.5 inches long. We are all so proud of him!